Baby Sleep- 7 Weeks

Warning: VERY long post!  There is just so much to talk about when it comes to baby sleep.

First of all, I agree with Caitlin, when she said that talking about baby sleep is like talking about religion and politics.  Everyone has their own opinion and their own way of doing things.  In my opinion, every baby is different and every mommy is different so lets stop fighting about it and just share information without judgement.  k? k.

From the time she was brought home from the hospital Ella has been an awesome sleeper.  Stephen and I felt so lucky that she slept so well.  She took nice long naps and I even had to wake her up every 3 hours at night to feed her.  After the first week, I stopped waking her up and assumed that she would tell me when she wanted to eat.  I started putting her down for the night at 9PM and she would sleep in 3.5 to 4 hour stretches until 8 or 9 AM. During the day, she was like any other new born and loved sleeping on either me or Stephen.  I wanted skin to skin time so I tried to allow her to sleep on me for at least one nap a day, and the rest of the time I would put her either in her swing or in the Rock N Play sleeper.  We started to experience the “witching hour” around week 2.  Ella would be inconsolable from 7-9 every night.  The only thing that soothed her was a boob.  I would continually switch her from one side of my chest to the other for those two hours and like clock work she would PASS OUT at 9PM.  It left us both exhausted, crying, and pretty upset.

Starting at around 4-5 weeks this child really began to WAKE UP!  She was still an awesome sleeper at night, and the first stretch of sleep was very often 4-5 hours, followed by a 3-4 hour stretch, and then sometimes she would go back to sleep for 1-2 hours.  During the day her awake times were longer and her naps were shorter.  I was pleasantly surprised at how much fun I was having!  Making silly faces, singing, dancing, and watching her play on her playmat not only filled my days but it fulfilled me in a way I never thought possible.  She was also eating every two hours during the day.  She was still very fussy from 7-9 every night and would only be consoled with a boob in her mouth.

Starting in the beginning of week 6 I read the book “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby” and it really opened my eyes.  I was totally mis-reading Ella’s cues and was feeding her when she was really telling me she was tired.  After reading this book I spent an entire day watching Ella and realized that she will go from slightly tired to tired to over tired and screaming in a matter of 10 minutes.  I noticed that her movement starts to slow down and she will let out a little yawn right as she gets tired.  If I can get her swaddled and into the swing with a little white noise in the back ground right after this first yawn she slips right into dream land and will sleep soundly for 1-2 hours.  If I miss this first cue she easily gets over tired and over stimulated and will cry.  Then it is much harder to get her to sleep and her nap is much shorter and much more restless.

Ella has always been a calm baby, but I have noticed how much happier she is since she is better rested.  I also realized we were putting her to bed too late.  By the end of the day she was way over stimulated and could not handle it.  Since then we have started winding her down for bed at 7:30PM by bathing her (every other day) in a warm bath, giving her a little massage with Berts Bee’s Calming Baby lotion, reading a book or two (if there is time and she is not showing signs of being tired), feeding her in her dark quiet room, and putting her in the Rock N Play in a swaddle.  She is fast asleep most nights by 8PM.  Some nights we need to go in to replace the pacifier and rock her a little.  But most nights (knock on wood) she falls right to sleep without much coaxing.

Right now her schedule looks roughly like this (and I fully expect this to change within a week.  Babies change so fast!)

• Roughly 7:30 AM: Wake up!  Time for a diaper change and a feed
• 8:30 AM: Within an hour of wake up she is ready for her first nap of the day.  As soon as I see that first yawn its into the swaddle and into the swing.  She will sleep for 2-3 hours and this is her longest nap of the day typically.  This is awesome because it gives me time to shower, get dressed, make myself breakfast and have a cup of super mom potion coffee.  I also pump at least once during this time to keep my supply up.  I am also trying to build a back up supply of breast milk in the freezer for when I go back to work.
• 11:30 AM: Up!  Time for another diaper change and a feeding.  I usually change her into an outfit at this point.  If I want to get anything done outside the house this is the time to do it.  We will run an errand or go for a walk at this point.
• 1:30 PM: Back to sleep by this time at the latest.  Another fact I learned from “Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Baby” is that newborns should never be awake for more than 2 hours maximum.  That time is about all the time their little brains can handle.  She will typically sleep for 1-2 hours at this point.  I also pump again during this time.
• 3:30 PM: Awake!  Diaper change and eating.  She is typically awake and her happiest during this time.  I cannot believe how much fun she is! We sing, dance, do tummy time, and maybe go for another walk
• 5:30 PM: back to sleep!  and daddy is home!  THANK GOD!  I am very ready for some adult conversation at this point!  We get to start dinner as well and chat about the day.  Which is amazing.  This is also her shortest nap of the day, typically about 30 minutes to 1 hour.  I pump again while she is asleep.
• 6:30 PM: Awake!  And Hungry! After she eats it time to get ready for bed.  If it is bath night I will start that, but if its not I try my best not to stimulate her too much.  She is usually really fussy at this point which is tough since its usually the only time Stephen has with her.  I love watching them bond  Its really amazing.
• 7:30 PM: Upstairs for books, another feeding (even if she doesn’t seem hungry I will feed her because it seems to soothing for her), and bed.
• 8 PM: Fast asleep!  Time for Mommy and Daddy time.
• 1:30 AM- 2:30 AM: She will wake up for a feeding.  A quick diaper change, 15 minutes on each boob, re-swaddled and back in the Rock N Play.
• 5 AM: Some days she will wake up for a feeding at this point, sometimes not.
• 7:30 – 8:30 AM: Up again!  Time to start another day !

Keep in mind there is really no “typical” day with a newborn.  This is just a rough idea of how we spend our days!

Mommyhood

During the day I am very often over whelmed and feel like a big ball of adrenaline.  I am constantly wondering if I am doing anything right when it comes to my child, and I find myself second guessing my decisions more often than I should.  Then she wakes up from a nap, so happy, and smiles a great big gummy smile as soon as she hears my voice and all those feelings melt away.  Sometimes I hear her on the monitor in the middle of the night, drag myself to feed her in her nursery, feeling so tired and wondering how I will ever stay awake long enough to feed her.  Then I look down at her amazing eye lashes as she feeds, and she pauses for a second to let a sleepy smile creep across her face .  Suddenly I have all the energy in the world and I know that these middle of the night feedings will end all too soon and I need to enjoy them.  I need to enjoy the bonding time with my first child, with my little girl.  

 

 

There has been a lot that has been over whelming about mother hood, there have been some rough days and nights, and I know that there will always be challenges.  But I need to remember that everything I am doing is worth it.  I love my daughter more than I ever thought possible, and love watching her grow and thrive everyday.  I guess what they say is true when it comes to raising children, the days are long but the years are short.  I need to enjoy every minute with her while I still can!

My First Post Partarm Run

Yesterday, without meaning to, I went on my first post partum run.  It was quite the adventure.

Ella and I woke up to the sun shining and temperatures in the 50′s!  After a particularly long winter, this was a welcome site.  I immediately texted a few friends, thinking they might have the day off for Easter Monday, in search of a few people to take a walk with.  My friend Lisette said she could be at my house by 2 for a nice long afternoon walk on our favorite trail.  I knew I couldn’t wait until then so Ella and I ventured out on our own for a little jaunt around the block in the Moby wrap.  She slept while I enjoyed the warm sun

 

Once Lisette got my house at 2 we were on our way to the Rails to Trails.  We parked, got the stroller set up, and were on our way.  It had gotten a little bit chillier since that morning and there was a noticeable change in the air.  I had looked at the forecast right before leaving and there was no chance of rain, so THAT did not even cross my mind.  We were walking and talking and right as we turned around to head back, about a half mile from the car, the sky opened up and rain started to POUR!  My mommy brain kicked in and all I could think of was the fact that my 5 week old baby was getting soaked.  I threw all the blankets I could find from the diaper bag over her car seat and started to run back toward the car.

I have not even attempted to run since November.  I have not even done a speed walk since a few days before delivery.  So a half mile sprint with my mind thinking that my baby was going to catch pneumonia was pretty taxing.  My lungs burned, my legs hurt, and lower abdomen ached.  We made it back to the car, and it turned out that Ella had slept through the whole thing.  She was bone dry and her skin was still very warm.  I put her in the car, cranked up the heat, and got home as fast as possible!

So there it is.  My first post partarm run.  It did not go as planned., obviously, but nothing in motherhood really goes as planned.  I am grateful that my legs were strong enough to get Ella back to the car before much damage was done, and was even happier that I had a friend there with me to laugh about this on the way home.  One run down, hundreds to go!

Eat Clean April Goals

I am a person who responds to limits, so I thought I would set some goals for Eat Clean April.

• Include a fruit or vegetable at each meal throughout the day.  
• Drink 8 glasses of water per day
• Consume nothing that does not benefit my body.  Ask myself the question before putting ingesting anything, “how will my body use this?”.  If I cannot come up with an answer, then I probably should not be eating it.
• Allow room for treats!  Its going to be geting warmer out this week, so I think allowing myself a frozen yogurt a few times a week would be great motivation.  I will also be in Florida for part of this month.  Luckily there are always amazing farmers markets and lots of fresh fruit and vegetables as options when I am there!
• Exercise once a day.  Even if that exercise is just a walk around the block with Ella.  Get moving!
• Throw away the damn chocolate eggs.  They are taunting you.

 

Ok so there it is.  Eat Clean April has commenced!  Can’t wait to blog about this challenge in order to keep myself accountable!

Eat Clean April

After a sugar infused Easter weekend, I am officially dubbing April as Eat Clean April.  30 days of clean eats, plenty of water, and (after Friday’s 6 week post pardum appointment) plenty of exercise.

 

 

While I have done my best to eat well while balancing mother hood, I feel like for every good meal I have I am consuming an equal amount of chocolate, sugar, and take out.  The result has been a sluggish mommy with a foggy brain and a still squishy tummy.  I never expected to lose the baby weight yet, but I am doing myself no favors with my recent bad habits.  Bring on the vegetables!

 

Fast Mama Meals- Peppers, Onions, and Black Beans

Before I had Ella I did not understand how Mom’s constantly claimed they did not have time to make healthy food for themselves when they had a newborn.  How much work could a newborn be?  Well now I am eating my words, literally.  I totally see how moms have zero time to EAT, let alone make a healthy meal.

I have a renewed commitment this week in my mission to eat healthy even with a newborn.  I know my meals need to be fast and need to easily be eaten with one hand.

This week at the grocery store I spotted pre-cut peppers and onions.  Perfect!  Buying pre-cut veggies is more expensive then cutting them yourself , but when your time is limited this is the only way to go.

Today for lunch I threw the pre-cut peppers and onions with a little olive oil and chile powder in a pan to sautee.  While those cooked I threw in some black beans that I had rinsed from the can, and voila!!  LUNCH! Made in 5 minutes flat and even included protein and veggies.  I even ate it while I pumped and the little one napped in her swing.  Its all about multi tasking now that I am a mom!

 

 

Happy lunching mommies!!

One Month Must Haves

When I was pregnant I always enjoyed reading other new mama’s “must have’s” lists on their blog.  I know every baby is different, but it was always interesting to see what people used and did not use once their babies came.  Below you can see my 1 month must have list and links for where to purchase these items:

Boppy Pillow

I seriously could not live without this pillow.  It has made breast feeding so much easier!  Especially during those 3AM feedings when you can barely hold your head up, let alone hold your baby to your boob for an extended period of time.

PURCHASE THE BOPPY PILLOW

Lansinoh Nipple Cream

Laugh if you must, but this stuff was a life saver.  I am convinced I would have switched to formula within a week if I had not used to much of it.  Every lactation consultant under the sun will tell you that breast feeding should not hurt if you are doing it right.  But the truth is that your nipples are probably not used to being sucked on 8-12 times a day for that length of time.  They need to toughen up, and until they do this cream will provide the relief you need.  It is also 100% safe for your baby, so you do not need to worry about washing your nipple off before a feeding.

PURCHASE LANSINOH NIPPLE CREAM

Newborn Pajama’s

A lot of people told me not to bother buying any newborn pajama’s since babies fit into this size for such a small amount of time.  And after hearing at one of our ultrasounds that Ella could be close to 9 pounds, I did not bother buying many new born outfits.  When we got home from the hospital I quickly realized that newborn babies need outfit changes a lot, and putting cute outfits on them everyday is not only not necessary but it can be painful (anyone ever tried putting a cute ruffled onsie over a newborns head?  Don’t do it. You will both cry).  So a few days after she was born I went to Babies R Us and purchased 6 pairs of newborn pajama’s that I rotated her through everyday.  I love the Carter’s brand with feet and zippers.  very easy for changing and they wash really well.

PURCHASE CARTER’S NEWBORN PAJAMA’S

Fisher Price Rock N Play Sleeper

I am convinced that this (along with the Miracle Blanket, next item) is the reason Ella is such a great sleeper.  It keeps her from spitting up her latest feeding, and keeps her nice and cozy. I also love that I can just reach over while still laying in bed to rock her if she starts to get fussy.

PURCHASE THE FISHER PRICE ROCK N PLAY SLEEPER

Miracle Blanket

Ella escaped from every single swaddle we tried.  She even got her little arms out of the super tight ones that the nurses did in the hospital.  But this blanket is the equivalent of a baby straight jacket and keeps her under wraps so nicely.  It is a little complicated to use at first, but once we watched this youtube video, Stephen and I got the hang of it.

PURCHASE THE MIRACLE BLANKET

“The Happiest Baby on the Block”

Dr. Harvey Karp is a God among men, as far as I am concerned.  There were many nights when Ella experienced her fussy time (generally from 7-9 at night) and without the techniques in this book I do not think Stephen and I could have ever gotten her to calm down.  When you are tired and overwhelmed there is nothing worse than an inconsolable baby, especially when that baby is your own.  I love how the book explains that babies get over stimulated and by the end of the day their immature brains have reached their breaking point, which causes the fussiness and crying.  It made me feel better knowing that she was not crying because she hated us (thank you hormones), but that this was something very natural that most babies experience.

PURCHASE THE HAPPIEST BABY ON THE BLOCK

Items for Mama

In the first month there were a few things that were really key to helping me through the day and making me feel comfortable:

• Comfortable sweat pants or pajama pants.  It was nice to change into a clean pair of sweats each day.  I tried to wear jeans one day when we had our first pediatrician appointment, but they were so uncomfortable because of my stitches.  For the rest of the month I only wore jeans a hand full of time, and lived in nice sweat pants most of the time.  
• Nursing Tank Tops. All of my nursing tanks are from Target.  I loved being able to put on a clean tank top each day and then just throw a zip up sweat shirt or cardigan over it.  It was the most convienent thing for me when it came to easily feeding Ella.
• Easy and nutrient dense food. As always, when you eat like crap you feel like crap.  It is even harder to NOT eat crap when you are living in 2-3 hour increments and barely have time to shower, let alone make a healthy meal.  I found that having easy to grab food was key.  Easy peel clementines, pre-hard boiled eggs (I did them myself.  Buying them pre-hard boiled seems weird to me.  Not sure why.), pre cut veggies (buying the veggie trays that most people buy for party’s was clutch), apples, instant oatmeal, and apples.

MY HUSBAND!!

No, this item is not for sale on Amazon  I just have to include a shameless plug of my husband.  He has been amazing this last month.  Single parents, you officially have my ut most respect. I have no idea how you do this alone.  Stephen changes diapers in the middle of the night, takes her when I am way too tired to soothe her when she is crying, makes dinner for me most nights, and is just an all around supportive and amazing partner.  It makes my heart burst every time I see him hold Ella because he just loves her so much.  He talks so sweetly too her and I can already tell he is going to be an amazing father.  I really never knew just how much I loved him until I saw how much he loved Ella.

One Month- So much fun!

Somehow on March 22nd my baby turned 1 month old.  I cannot believe a whole month has passed, but at the same time I cannot believe only a month has passed.  When I look back on pictures from the hospital I cannot believe how different she looks.  Ella amazes me in how much she changes and learns each and every day.  I love knowing that her brand new eyes are seeing everything in the world for the first time.  I wish I remembered what that was like, seeing the color pink for the first time, seeing the sun shining through the living room window.  It must be amazing and over whelming all at the same time.

In the last two weeks I feel like my child has turned from a newborn into an actual baby.  We have fallen into a pretty awesome routine.  She wakes up between 7 and 8 in the morning, and is awake for a few hours after that.  After spending most of the morning awake, she takes a long afternoon nap most days.  When Daddy gets home from work at 5:30 PM, she enjoys some alone time in her swing while we make and eat dinner.  Ella tends to get fussy around 7PM every night, but the past few nights she has fallen into a deep sleep at 7:30 or 8 PM and stays asleep all night waking up for feedings every 4-5 hours (throughout the day she eats every 2-3 hours).  On her one month birthday she even slept for a 6 hour stretch!

Lately Ella has taken lots of naps on Mommy’s chest…

Practiced baby wearing.  I even made banana bread one day while wearing her!

Learned how to eat from a bottle.

Became an awesome sleeper

Cheered on Mommy and Daddy’s alma mater in the NCAA tournament!  Unfortunately Bucknell lost to Butler

Spent lots of time bonding with Daddy while Mommy was at yoga teacher training one weekend

And somehow turned one month old!

At her one month doctors appointment she was 22 1/4 inches long (96th percentile) and 9 lbs 10 ounces (60th percentile).  She is gaining ounces like its her job (because it is).  We have not experienced a true “growth spurt” in the traditional sense, but I am so happy she is growing and is so healthy.

I am feeling much more confident in my new role as mommy.  Motherhood is so much better than I expected at this point, and it is SCARY how much I love Ella . I feel like I have fallen very nicely into my maternal life, and I am really trying to enjoy every moment of my maternity leave. Every day is a new adventure and I feel so lucky to be this little girls mom

The First Two Weeks

Wow!  I cannot believe that while I am writing this post my 3 week old baby is snoozing away in her swing.  The days have been long, but the last 2 weeks have flown by.  They have been both the hardest and most amazing of my life, and I already cannot remember what my life was like pre-baby.

Lets start from the beginning shall we?  The two days we spent in the hospital were pretty rough.  Ella was AWAKE the entire time.  Everything I had read said that she would probably sleep for the first 24-48 hours of her life, and would need to be woken up to eat every 2-3 hours.  With our baby, this was not the case.  She was awake and alert and pretty fussy most of the time.

We had lots of visitors while we were in the hospital.  New grandparents and friends came with gifts and lots of tasty food so Stephen and I did not have to eat the gross hospital food.  I cannot believe how tired I look in these pictures!

We were discharged from the hospital on Sunday and made our way home.  As we pulled into the driveway we were greeted by a welcome party of grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins!  After everyone left we settled in for a little family nap on the couch

Since getting home, life has been a whirlwind.  Ella seemed to settle down when she was home, and finally started to sleep and eat in regular intervals.  In fact, for the entire first week I needed to wake her up to eat every 3 hours.  After the first week, and after a lot of research to see if it was ok, I decided to just let her sleep and let her wake me up when she wanted to eat.  She fell into a nice schedule after that.  She is such a good eater, and I feel so lucky that she latched on so quickly and has been an amazing nurser.  Its true, newborns will really tell you what they want!

Emotionally speaking, the first two weeks were touch and go.  While in the hospital I experienced a few days of complete euphoria.  Those new mommy hormones were amazing and I felt incredible.  After getting home from the hospital I experienced the “hormone dump” that everyone talks about post child birth.  The roller coaster of hormones on top of recovering from my episiotomy and vacuum assisted birth made for a very hard first week.  Every day at 5:30 PM I cried.  Like clockwork the tears would flow and I would need a break.  I felt like my emotions were in a pin ball machine, one minute I was euphoric and the next minute I was crying and feeling helpless.  Luckily, right at the 2 week mark I felt like I was back on an even keel.  I woke up that day confident, knowing I could handle this and ready to tackle the day.  Each day I get to know my little girl a little more, and feel ready to anticipate and meet her needs.

Having a child is amazing.  You know you are going to love them, but you have no idea how much or how all consuming this love is until they are placed on your chest after birth.  You know you are going to be tired, but you have no idea how tired until you spend a whole night dealing with cluster feeding.  You know you will be over whelmed, but you have no idea just how over whelmed until you get home from the hospital and realize that even though you read every book under the sun about caring for a newborn, you have no idea what you are doing.

I am soaking up every moment I can with my little girl.  I am loving the bonding breast feeding provides, and the way she looks up at me when she wakes up from a nap on my chest.  Motherhood has been amazing and challenging and all consuming.  Two weeks down, a lifetime to go.  I cannot wait

Welcome to the world, Ella Grace

On Friday February 22, 2013 Miss Ella Grace entered our world.  Apparently she needed that extra time inside mommy and she came out looking pink, healthy, and amazing.

I was scheduled to be induced on Friday the 22nd at 9AM.  I was hoping to avoid induction, but also could not wait to meet our little girl and just not be pregnant anymore.  I was also a week into maternity leave and growing more uncomfortable and restless by the minute.  On Thursday the 21st I woke up to some painful contractions.  They were few and far between but they felt very different than the other contractions I had been having throughout pregnancy.  I really thought nothing of it, as I had had a very contraction heavy pregnancy.  I went about my day, going to BJ’s and Carters with my sister in law and her two kids.  While we were eating lunch at Moe’s another round of very painful contractions started and I was begining to think this was the real deal.  Elizabeth dropped me off at home and I proceeded to lay down, sleeping and waking up to hit my contraction timer every 10 minutes or so.  This continued for another 2 hours and eventually they spaced out and stopped all together.

Stephen got home from work around 5:30 that evening and I told him I had been contracting on and off all day, and that this could be the real deal.  We ate dinner, packed for the scheduled induction the next day and went to bed super early.  The moment I laid down my body started contracting again.  Super painful, stop you in your tracks contractions.  I told Stephen to get some sleep, and that I thought we would be going to labor and delivery within a few hours.  1 hour of 7-10 minute apart contractions later, right after I was thinking “Wow, these are getting intense.  I am going to call the on call doctor once this one subsides” my water broke.  Gush.  Very dramatic.  Just like in the movies.  I ran to the bathroom telling a sleepy husband that my water broke and that he needed to call the on call doctor.  After a brief conversation they told us to head right to labor and delivery.  This was it, we were going to have a baby

I cannot describe fully the emotions that were going through me on the way to the hospital.  I was so happy, scared because I was already in so much pain, and just so excited to meet our little girl.  I knew that we were going to the hospital as a family of 2 and would leave as a family of 3.  I looked at my husband with an incredible love that I had never felt for him before.  We were about to become parents and I knew that there was no one else I wanted at my side at that moment.  He was my soul mate, my partner, my best friend, and the person who would get me from point A to point B in this whole process of having a baby.

When we got to the hospital I was admitted right away, and was able to skip triage since my water had already broken.  We got settled in our room and I continued to have incredibly painful contractions every 5 minutes for the next hour or so.  The on call doctor came in to check my progress and said I was almost completely effaced but only 2 cm dilated   I was shocked.  These contractions were way too painful to only be at 2 cm!  She said that as a result of the leep procedure I had the year before there was quite a bit of scar tissue on my cervix, which was preventing me from dilating further.  She said they would go in to clear up the scar tissue so I could dilate further, but that it would be very painful.  At that point I decided to get the epidural right away.  I was already in so much pain, and thought it was the best bet for me to have a good experience with delivery.

I had an excellent experience with my epidural.  The woman who administered it was fantastic, and I literally did not feel a thing.  I had complete control of my feet and lower legs throughout labor, but without any pressure or pain.

As soon as the epidural was administered the doctor cleared the scar tissue from my cervix and I almost immediately went from 2 cm to 4-5 cm dilated.  At that point I knew the epidural was the right choice.  Stephen and I decided to get some sleep at this point and settled in.  We slept on and off from 2-5 AM.  At some point my contractions had majorly slowed down, as they often do with an epidural and the doctor decided to start pitocin.  The piton was administered starting at 3AM.

When I was checked again at 8:30 AM, I was 6 cm and 100% effaced.  Things were moving along!  Everyone said I would have this baby by lunch time.  Famous last words right?

We slept some more, visited with Stephen’s mom and sister (who sat in the waiting room all night!!!), watched some TV, and just hung out.  At 10:30 AM I was checked again and was at 8 cm!  I would definitely have this baby by lunch time!  I knew from my reading that getting from 8-10 cm happened very quickly most of the time, and I truly believed I would be pushing within the hour.

This is where things got a little hairy.  Ella apparently decided that she was already over due and wanted to hang out in mommy’s tummy just a little while longer than expected.  4 hours longer.  It took almost 4 hours to get from 8 cm to 10 cm.  In the mean time my epidural began to wear off, and I started to feel intense pressure with each contraction.  I started to need to breathe through each one, close my eyes, and really go inside myself for the strength to get through.  I lived in 5 minute increments for the next few hours.  I labored on my back and on my side, but my favorite position was laboring on my hands and knees.  I was able to put my head down, breathe, and chant an lovely “ohmmm” through each contraction.  Stephen was awesome during this time.  Even though I was totally inside my own head I could hear him telling our nurse, Cathy, about how strong he thought I was.  How I was the strongest person he knew and he just knew I was going to rock the rest of this delivery.  It was amazing to hear the confidence he had in me while I was laboring.

At 2:10 PM I had finally reached the goal of 10 cm and could start pushing.  I was excited to use the contractions to my advantage  rather than just getting through each one.  I started pushing and did not feel like I was doing it right.  I was scrunching up my face too much, and it just did not feel right.  I pushed for 10 seconds, 3 times per contractions, and each one got a little easier.  I envisions my daughter making her way down the birth canal, and could not believe I would get to meet her so soon.  Stephen held my left leg back and stayed with me through each contraction.  At one point I started to cry, because it just fel like I was getting no where and I was seriously doubting my ability to deliver this baby.  The pressure was unreal, the pain was intense, and my strength was diminishing with each push.  But Stephen stayed with me the entire time.  He assured me I could do this, and that I was doing great.  I looked at him with I am sure very desperate eyes, and I just wanted it to be over.

When I had been pushing for about 45 minutes, my doctor said we needed to deliver the baby shortly.  I am not sure what happened, or if anything happened, but she suggested either a C section or a vacuum assisted birth.  I had been laboring for 17 hours, and did not want to have a C section, so Stephen and I agree to a vacuum assisted birth.  The NICU was called in, an episiotomy was cut (ouch), and the vacuum was inserted.

Two contractions, and five pushes later my daughter was born.  I felt every inch of her come out of me.  Her head, each shoulder, every knee, elbow, and bone in her body passed through me so she could enter the world.

Ella Grace was born at 3:10 PM on February 22, 2013.  She was placed immediately on my chest and I burst into tears.  She was slimy, and warm, and alert, and amazing.  We made eye contact for what felt like hours and I just kept repeating “Hi baby, you are here.  Stephen, she is here!” over and over again.  I was covering her in my tears, and could not believe that this little creature that I had felt running marathons in my stomach for the past 9 months was finally born.

It took 1 month of trying to conceive, 10 pregnancy tests to convince myself that they were accurate, 4 ultrasounds, countless doctors appointments, 41 weeks, a day of contractions, 1 very dramatic water breaking, 17 hours of labor, and 1 hour of pushing, but some how my little miracle has entered this world.  Stephen and I could not be more in love with her.  Ella Grace, you are the light of our lives and already I do not remember what life was life without you.